Let’s talk about values
Throughout my years of being a therapist I have had many clients come to me looking for clarity on a particular decision, life change, or identity shift. I’ve found that understanding and identifying your core values can really help this process. So what exactly are values, you ask? Values are the beliefs and principles that guide each person’s life and how they live it. Values inform our thoughts, actions, and decisions. They are important because without knowing them, we are like an unanchored boat floating through the ocean. It is hard to know what direction you want to go in, or how to get there, if you don’t know what is guiding you. When we are living in alignment with our values, we feel “in the flow” so to speak. Decisions are easier to make and external noise doesn’t sound as loud.
Have you stopped to think about what your top 5 values are and why?
WHAT ARE PERSONAL VALUES
Values are personal and individual to each person, they are not universally accepted. That is what makes figuring out YOUR values so special; there is no right or wrong answer! For some, the journey of identifying your values is a deeply personal and private journey. For others, they may share their experience with loved ones and friends. You might be wondering, “what are some examples of personal values?” Common values that I see amongst people are integrity, family, success, inner peace, honesty, adventure, and freedom.
HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR CORE VALUES
Reflect on past experiences- did you feel fulfilled and uplifted, or did you feel inner turmoil and dissatisfied? Lived experience can be our biggest teacher. Going back to what I said earlier, when have you felt “in the flow”?
Figure out what matters most to you. What brings you joy and purpose, and when do you feel like you’re at your best?
Notice your role modes. Do they have any characteristics or values that you admire and want to work toward?
Take a values assessment. Look online for a Values List. Sit down for 10 minutes and circle all values that resonate with you. Then circle your top 10. Then circle your top 5. Write these down somewhere to keep. I kept a list in my wallet for years.
Here are some signs that you may be out of alignment with your values:
Engaging in harmful or self-destructive behaviors
Feeling unfulfilled, restless, or disconnected from yourself and others
Feeling lost and without direction
Struggling with decision-making, or feeling “stuck”
Experiencing frequent stress or anxiety
STEPS TO LIVE IN ALIGNMENT
Identify your priorities
Make intentional choices
Set boundaries
Practice self-reflection
When we are crystal clear about what our values are, we can use them as a guideline for our actions and behaviors, like a template for making decisions. Understand your values and you can begin to understand yourself! Journaling can be a helpful first step into the exploration of values and self. If you want support and structure in this process, feel free to reach out to us at 321-475-4265 and we can help you get started.
